She gained her Heavenly Crown

It's hard for me to accept my Gram being gone, but I can imagine the celebration as she was freed of her earthly body and entered her heavenly home! She gained her crown earlier this month and as much as my heart misses her; I am excited for her!

I have been apprehending the loss of her for many many years as I can not imagine my life without her. She turned 96 this past July with no one there to celebrate with her due to Covid health restrictions. My heart absolutely aches that the last nine months of her life were spent alone within the walls of her assisted living home. I thank God for the for the close relationships we had with some of the health care workers so we are able to get updates pretty regularly. She was very confused why her family was not around. I was absolutely devastated a couple years ago when gram had a heart attack and it took the sharpness of her mind. She still mostly knew who we were, but her health has steadily declined since then.

I will forever feel so blessed that I got to be one of her main caregivers the summer after her heart attack. We spent long hours everyday and multiple nights there as she needed a full-time caregiver. My kids really enjoyed that summer and often loved being a part of helping her! They always wanted to play with her and watch movies with her. My favorite was our late afternoon walks around The gardens of her retirement homes. Gram has always been more than a grandmother to me she often times filled the gap of a father figure I was missing at different points in my life. She was there the day I was born and went to all of my school activities, took care of me when I was sick and always provided my favorite place to be! I felt more at home at her house than anywhere else in my whole life. I always really enjoyed when we lived with her or the many slumber parties I had at her house! Most of my favorite childhood (and adult) memories include her!

I have so many wonderful memories as a child, baking with her and sitting around the table while making dinner. She often wanted to read out of the Bible which I always thought was a little boring, but I learned so much because of that! I can still hear the trains that would echo in the middle of the night and see the street lights peeking through the blinds in her windows. The flowers that grew in her garden will always be a reminder of her hard work. I remember her walking up and down her street watering the garden, barefooted and chatting with the neighbors. I will always adore that she got a pink cast after fracturing her wrist a couple weeks before my wedding!

Gram challenge me in a way that no one else could. She was honest and told me exactly how stupid something was or gave a godly prospective. Most of my big life decisions were counseled by her and she always helped me in every way she could! I can still her now, "No is a complete sentence," "What's the exact address?" And "The end"!!

We often wonder why God let her live alone this past year and in such confusion, but I feel like it was God's way of preparing us to live without her. 9 months ago I couldn't have imagined my life without her, but we have been prepared because if these quarantined times. Everyday I would wake up wondering if she had fallen that night or woken up confused or was crying out in loneliness. The week after she died everyday when I woke up there was a sense of relief to know that she had not suffered in that way. I had felt a tremendous burden for not being able to be there to bring her love and joy during this whole time. It's still so hard for me to imagine that she is truly gone. Gram has been a part of my life as much as a parent and a best friend combined. All of my major life events include my mom and Gram together; what a huge blessing she has been our whole lives. If we had a problem or needed something. Call Gram! She always knew how to solve anything, even if just by praying! I like to think I helped her a little too by our frequent errand running, including grocery shopping, doctor appointments & whatever other things we would do just for fun! She was always up for an adventure! She lived life "ready to go"!

I remember begging by mom in middle school to let Gram homeschool me (they didn't let me). Her life skills taught me more then any school ever could! She took each day as an opportunity to teach! I will miss celebrating every holiday with her and hanging out just on "normal" days. I will miss her smile, her wisdom, her grace and her stubbornness. I would say the biggest thing I ever learned from her is it is "By the Grace of God, go I". This is a quote she regularly told me and wrote down many times throughout my life, a couple years ago I got it tattooed on my shoulder as a constant reminder of God's grace to us!! Something that we have not earned but that God freely gives.

The world has lost a Godly Warrior, a teacher, a mother, a grandmother, a great grandmother, a beloved church member, a friend, and helper and the biggest blessing my life may ever know.

I have such a peace to know she is in the arms of Jesus in her new body! No pain , no confusion, no loliness. Just eternal life!